Tips for Surviving the Postpartum Trenches

If you are reading this, let me start off by saying that you’re doing GREAT! No, really, you are.

The postpartum period is a blur of endless emotions and physical ailments. It’s a strange mix of beautiful, exhausting, overwhelming moments. A huge shift is happening in your life whether it’s your first or third baby. Hang in there, mama. I know you might feel like you’re drowning, or maybe even like you don’t recognize yourself as a person anymore.

Let’s talk about some real world tips that can help you stay grounded, feel more human, and gain back a little pep in your step.

Here’s what we’ll cover:

1. Managing expectations
2. Prioritizing yourself
3. Getting out of the house
4. Accepting help

Managing Expectations

A lot of parents feel as though they aren’t doing enough, or that they aren’t good enough mom in one way or another. Especially during the postpartum period, it’s easy to slip into the mindset of feeling like you cant get into the groove of things or cant find your footing within your new role.

The truth is, this is a time for grace- not perfection. Cut yourself some slack, you are doing great! Don’t compare yourself to the carefully curated images and lifestyles of the new moms you see online. I can guarantee they are having many of the same struggles and internal battles that you are.

Instead of holding yourself to unrealistic expectations, aim for small, attainable goals each day- eating something nutritious, getting some fresh air, asking for help when you need it. These are not signs of falling behind, they are essential acts of care.

Prioritizing Yourself

When you think about “prioritizing yourself”, what do you feel? Guilt? Overwhelmed? Or maybe you feel like it’s simply impossible?

Prioritizing yourself does not mean neglecting your kids or other duties in your life. It means caring for yourself and making YOUR well being one of your top priorities. Your kids need and want a healthy, happy, well-rounded mama in their life. This isn’t always easy, and you may feel like you simply could never have the time when you have the whole world on your back. But I’m here to tell you that you CAN and you SHOULD do this for yourself.

Start by doing one thing for yourself every single day. This could be as simple as changing out of the pajamas that have dried breast milk and spit up on them and putting on something fresh and clean. Don’t underestimate how this simple thing can change your attitude for the day! When you’re up all night and feeling like a walking talking milk cow, a small refresh can make a huge difference. Even if you don’t feel like it, try washing your face, brushing your hair, and putting on a clean, cozy outfit. Small things like this can help you feel a little more normal and in control.

Some other things you can do for yourself is taking a bath, driving to pick up your favorite treat, or getting your nails done. At the end of the day, ask yourself what you did for YOU that day. If you can’t think of something, plan out what you’ll do tomorrow.

Getting Out of The House

I know this might sound hard, but you will see some amazing benefits when you get out of the house. I don’t know about you, but sometimes I think the postpartum period can feel like you’re in a small bubble- or a dungeon, really. You’re tired, you’re awake when its dark out, you don’t know what day it is or when the last time you had a proper meal was. It’s easy to get cabin fever, and you may not even realize that it’s happening.

Sometimes getting out of the house just means driving to Starbucks and back, and that’s ok! Good for you, you left the house.

Another idea is download a podcast or that book you’ve been meaning to read, put your baby in the stroller, and walk around the block. If the weather isn’t conducive to that, do the exact same thing except walk around target instead! An on the go nap while mom listens to a fun and silly fantasy romance book can do wonders for everyone involved.

Accepting Help

This can also be hard, but know that people WANT to help you. Let them! Don’t shut out your people. Try to answer those texts, be honest when someone asks how you’re doing, and the next time someone says “let me bring you dinner”, or “let me take your toddler to the park”, respond with, “that would be amazing, thank you!”

Don’t be afraid to let your partner know if you are struggling. Honest communication is key in any relationship, especially during this big transition. Ask your husband to stay with the baby while you nap, or even while you go to the nail salon with a friend. Tell him you want to go out on a dinner date to feel some normalcy- whatever it is, don’t be afraid to ask!

Sometimes, new mamas might need a little extra help or another listening ear. If you feel completely overwhelmed, or like you may be experiencing postpartum depression, anxiety, or intrusive thoughts, a therapist can be an amazing resource for you.

Final Thoughts on Tips for Surviving the Postpartum Trenches

The postpartum period is unlike any other time in life. It’s raw, real, and often unpredictable. It demands more of you than you may have thought possible, and it also has the power to deepen your capacity for love, resilience, and connection.

You are not expected to do this perfectly. It’s easy to feel consumed by your role as a parent during the early days, but you are still you – a full person with needs, interests, and dreams that matter. Find small ways to stay connected to yourself each day. Do something that is for you and you only.

Please remember: you are not alone. You are not failing. And it’s okay to struggle, to feel uncertain, and to ask for help. If you feel like you need a little extra help, don’t hesitate to reach out to a therapist today!