Sex Therapy in Las Vegas & Summerlin

Increased Intimacy, Love & Connection

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Physical intimacy and sexual dynamics are complex! Since intimacy between husband and wife (or any couple) is special and private, we don’t have nearly enough appropriate dialogue about it. Many people feel uncomfortable or shy discussing it, but since it’s one of the most influential dynamics in our relationships, we need to be better at talking about it and better at prioritizing it.

Men and women are both wired to be sexual beings, and we’re all wired to want and need it but in VERY different ways. In general, men feel loved and connected through sex and women need to feel loved and connected before they’re in the mood for sex.

To me, this comes down to basic biology. You see, women inherently (subconsciously) know that sex leads to babies. Pregnancy, historically, is a life-threatening endeavor. Once the “risk” is over, it’s still a lifelong physical and emotional commitment. It makes sense that a subconscious part of a woman wants to know that her man is really there for her before she jumps into bed with him. Alternatively, for a man, the fact that a woman would trust him enough to take that risk must mean that she really loves him.

If fear is the great enemy of intimacy, love is its true friend

Sexual Desire & How it Relates to Sex Therapy

Sexual desire (or lack thereof) is by far the most common challenge couples face in their sexual relationship. Most couples also notice sexual dynamics changing through the course of the relationship. Early on, most couples have sex more frequently than they do later in relationships. Part of this is due to the biology I explained above: If the house is a mess and the children have been tyrants all day the thought of jumping into bed and (potentially) adding another hellion to the mix probably sounds like a terrible idea, even if a woman feels loved and secure in the relationship. (Yes, I know not every sexual encounter leads to pregnancy, I’m just talking about subconscious biological processes that diminish natural sexual desire.) The same can be true for men: if he’s had a terrible day at the office or feels like a failure he may shirk from the thought of adding another mouth to feed. Or, he may desire sex for validation and an emotional boost that at least things at home are going okay.

Another factor that comes into play is what I call the “peacock effect.” Women, subconsciously, know that their sexuality is very attractive to men, so they may feel more sexual early on to secure a man. This isn’t intended to be a “bait and switch” but sometimes it feels that way. I’ve heard dozens of men wonder what happened because they “used to have sex all the time and now she’s never in the mood.”

Alternatively, if there is a husband with a lower sex drive than his wife, this usually leads to feelings of inadequacy or feeling ugly and undesirable. There’s a stereotype that men should have insatiable sex drives, so if that’s not the case it usually leaves both partners feeling broken.

In the most recent sexual literature, researchers have done away with the concept of “desire” as the first stage of the sexual response cycle and replaced it with “willingness.” This is a powerful and important reframe. A partner may not necessarily feel a burning sexual desire towards their partner, but they may feel willing to have a positive shared experience that boosts the partner and the relationship significantly. This shifts a general attitude to one of being willing to give rather than simply relying on whether or not you’re “in the mood.”

Communication leads to community, that is, to understanding, intimacy, and mutual valuing

Sexual Dysfunction in Couples

Sexual dysfunction is another wrench that gets thrown into the relationship and often isn’t talked about. Inability or difficulty to reach climax is a common one. First, I’d like to set the record straight. Did you know that 70% of women don’t climax regularly? Only 7% of women report that they “always” do—so if you are expecting a climax every single time and are disappointed that it isn’t happening, it might be helpful to shift expectations. A sexual encounter can still be very rewarding and bonding without it, and for a lot of women letting go of that pressure helps them to enjoy sex much more.

Pain during intercourse is another common and difficult issue. If adding extra lubrication and going slow isn’t solving the problem, you may be dealing with something called vaginismus. This is a pain disorder that has successful treatment outcomes, and where therapy can be really helpful. Male sexual dysfunction including premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction can also take a toll on the relationship. Men suffering with these difficulties often feel broken and inadequate, and wives often feel frustrated or insecure. Talking about these issues in counseling can help couples feel connected and validated. I can help you either overcome the issue completely or make it less problematic.

Past Sexual Trauma and Working with a Sex Therapist

Past sexual trauma can impact the sexual relationship in a myriad of ways. Early sexual abuse or rape, inappropriate sexual pressure in marriage, sexual addiction and infidelity can make sex feel very scary, uncomfortable or vulnerable. If any of these deep wounds are getting in the way of having a fulfilling, care-free and fun sexual relationship with your spouse, sex therapy and counseling is a great way to heal and move forward together. If you’re in the Las Vegas area, be sure to get in contact with one of our sex therapists today!

Benefits of Sex Therapy for Couples

Increased Intimacy & Love
Greater Understanding
Decreased Frustration
Greater Sense of Closeness
Deeper Feelings of Connection

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Ready to take the next step in healing and peace? Let’s schedule a free consultation with a sex therapist in the Las Vegas & Summerlin area! Get started today!

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Meet our Team of Therapists

Chrissy lawler therapist in las vegas

Hi, I’m Christine Lawler.

I’m a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and I’ve been practicing therapy for almost 13 years. I have an amazing husband who I’ve been married to for 12 years, and we’ve got four darling little girls.
 

I’m a big believer that therapist fit is really important. Too many people give up on counseling in general because they had a poor fit with a therapist and decided counseling didn’t work. Counseling DOES work, but the therapist/client match-up is important. You want to work with someone whose personality you can jive with, and you need to believe that your therapist can actually help you. So, I’m going to tell you a little bit about myself and what sets me apart, and you can decide if I sound like the right fit for you:

I graduated from Brigham Young University, the #1 Marriage and Family Therapy program in the country. I’m not saying this to brag, only to confidently report that my education was top notch. We were constantly taught how important it is to be a fantastic therapist, because unfortunately, unskilled therapists can do more harm than good and often clients have no way of discerning. I was also taught that having a good foundational background is important, but what I do after graduation to hone my skills is what will set me apart. Because of this, I have thrown myself into reading and taking continuing education courses from the leaders in the field. I’m a critical consumer of information and I make sure that everything I do is grounded in theory.

Hi, I’m Leslie Frederick.

I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. I have long had a passion for helping and serving others.

I began my career as a social worker for a local hospice.  I found great purpose in helping families navigate the unpredictable twists and turns that undoubtedly come along with the end of life for their loved ones.  After many years in hospice, I transitioned to a medical social work position in a hospital, which then led me to a Clinical Social Work Intern position in an inpatient psych hospital.  During this time, I enjoyed working with a range of individuals and families.  The vast array of cases I encountered in the hospital allowed me to gain the experience and skills needed to serve a multitude of clients.  I enjoy working with clients of all ages and believe in meeting a client where they are at in order to tailor treatment to meet their individualized needs and work towards their specific goals.

I have a Bachelor’s degree in Social Work from Northern Arizona University and a Masters in Social Work from UNLV. I am originally from Northwest Indiana and have lived in Las Vegas for over ten years with my husband and our three children. We love living out west and enjoy spending time traveling and exploring our neighboring states.

Leslie frederick therapist in las vegas | The Peaceful Mind Counseling Center

The Peaceful Mind Counseling Center Las Vegas

Our office is located at:

3455 Cliff Shadows Pwky Suite 220

Las Vegas, Nevada 89129

We’re located inside of The Cliffs Professional Center just off I-215 off the Cliff Shadows exit.

Phone Number: (702) 766-9063

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