My Teenager is Depressed: What to Know and How to Help

As a parent, few things are more difficult than watching your child struggle or suffer. When your teenager is showing signs of depression, it can feel overwhelming, confusing, and even frightening. You may find yourself questioning if it’s “just a phase,” wondering what you did wrong, or simply just feeling helpless. If you’re reading this because you suspect your teen is depressed, or they’ve already been diagnosed, know that you are not alone, and there is hope.

Keep reading to learn more about teenage depression and how you can help.

Here’s what we’ll cover:

1. Understanding teenage depression
2. Possible contributions
3. What parents can do
4. Professional help
5. When to seek immediate help

Understanding Teenage Depression

If you suspect that your teenager may be struggling with depression, know that this is not uncommon. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, in 2021, 5 million teenagers had experienced at least one depressive episode.

Clinical depression goes beyond the stereotypical teenage moodiness and ups and downs. Depression is typically all consuming. Here are some signs that your teen may be depressed:

• Persistent sadness
• Persistent irritability
• Loss of interest in things previously enjoyed
• Feelings of hopelessness or shame
• Low self esteem, feeling like you aren’t good enough
• Withdrawal from friends and family
• Persistent low energy
• Changes in sleep patterns
• Problems concentrating or making decisions
• Acting out or engaging in risky behaviors like drugs or alcohol
• Thoughts of self harm or suicide

Possible Contributions

There is no single cause of depression, but there can be contributing factors. Let’s talk about some of those.

• Genetics- family history of depression
• Emotional trauma such as bullying or familial issues
• Chronic stress
• Loss or other significant life changes
• Academic or social pressures

Social media can also play a role, both positively and negatively. While they can provide connection, they can also fuel comparison, cyberbullying, or disconnection from real life relationships.

What Can Parents Do?

Of course, the burning question you have is what you can do to help. Remember, depression doesn’t have a quick fix. Let’s go over some things that you can do to help your teen.

1. Start the conversation. Choose a safe, calm moment to tell your teenager that you’ve noticed they have seemed sad recently, and you want to help and understand how they are feeling. Let them know you are here for them if they want to talk. Remember to listen more than speak, don’t criticize, and don’t jump to conclusions.
2. Establish a routine. Those with depression often find it difficult to get out of bed and do simple things like shower or eat. Think short term goals- you know your child best and know what they need. Help them establish daily goals, this could be doing homework, eating dinner, and taking a shower.
3. Gentle encouragement. Celebrate the small victories and gently encourage them to push themselves. Depression often goes hand in hand with low self esteem- don’t forget to remind them of all the wonderful qualities that they possess.
4. Create a healthy environment. Create space for things like family time, walks outside, nutritious meals, and good sleeping habits.

Professional Help

One of the most helping things you can do for your teenager with depression is get them help from someone like a therapist. Sometimes teens don’t totally want to open up to mom or dad- and that’s ok! Therapy provides a safe, confidential space where teens can express thoughts and emotions they might not feel comfortable sharing with family or friends. This alone can bring a sense of relief and validation, which is essential during this time of internal struggle.

A licensed therapist can help teens identify factors that may be contributing to their struggles, whether it’s related to school stressors, relationships, self esteem, or past trauma. Developing healthy strategies to cope will make a huge difference in your teens day to day life. Evidence-based approaches like cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) teach teens to recognize negative thought patterns and replace them with more balanced, realistic ones. Over time, this can lead to improved mood, greater resilience, and a stronger sense of self-worth.

Therapy also offers practical tools for managing day to day challenges like setting goals, improving sleep, building communication skills, and reducing social withdrawal. For many teens, it’s the first place they learn how to advocate for their own mental health.

Perhaps most importantly, therapy helps teenagers feel seen and supported. Knowing they’re not alone, and that their pain is both real and treatable, can be the first step toward healing and a healthier future.

When to Seek Immediate Help

If your teenager talks about wanting to die or shows signs of suicidal thinking, take it seriously. Don’t wait- seek help immediately. Call 911 or drive to the nearest emergency room. You can also contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988, which is available 24/7.

Final Thoughts on My Teenager is Depressed: What to Know and How to Help

As a parent, it can be scary and stressful to watch your child suffer. It’s easy to feel helpless when your teen is hurting, but your presence, compassion, and willingness to take action matter more than you know. With the right support, your teen can begin to feel better, and so can your family.

If you and your teen are ready to take the first step towards healing, please don’t wait. Reach out to us today!