Marriage can sometimes be romanticized as a never ending state of bliss, love, and connection. The reality is that a marriage is constantly evolving, ebbing, and flowing.  Occasionally, this evolution can bring up some uncomfortable thoughts like “I don’t like my husband anymore.”

So, what now? You woke up one morning, poured yourself a cup of coffee, gazed out the window, and realized… you don’t like the man you slept next to last night. Know this- you are not alone! You are not the first or last person to have had these thoughts. It’s extremely common to have phases of dissatisfaction throughout your marriage. Identifying these feelings are the first steps of getting to the root causes. Finding those root causes are crucial to repairing your marriage.

In this blog post, we will explore why you may be feeling this way, how to approach it, and if there is hope for your relationship moving forwards. Keep reading to learn more.

Here’s what we’ll cover:

  1. Why you don’t like your husband
  2. What can you do about it?
  3. The future

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Why You Don’t Like Your Husband

If you are feeling unhappy or disconnected from your husband, it is important to reflect on the why. Here are just a few common reasons:

  1. Unmet expectations– our needs, wants, and goals change throughout our lives. If your expectations of your husband no longer match who he is, resentment can fester.
  2. Communication breakdown– poor communication is a leading cause of marital issues. If simple conversations lead to arguing or blaming, it can lead to a couple feeling like they are on two separate teams.
  3. Emotional neglect– it’s painful when your feel neglected by your partner. Your emotional connecting can deteriorate if you done feel seen or heard.
  4. Daily stressors– financial burdens, familial stress, ad career demands can all play a part in your relationship.
  5. Loss of connection– after the “honeymoon stage”, it can be difficult to prioritize quality time together. If you aren’t spending time together or connecting in a romantic way, you can start to feel like roommates instead of a married couple.

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What Can You Do About It?

Deep diving into your feelings about this may be uncomfortable at first, but it is important to do. It’s also an opportunity for growth and reflection.

  1. Acknowledge your feelings– it may be difficult, but try to avoid brushing your feelings under the rug. It’s okay to feel whatever you are feeling! If you want to resolve your feelings, you have to feel them. The only way out is through.
  2. Identify the cause– this one can potentially be tricky. Talk to someone you trust or start writing in a journal. Try to pinpoint your triggers and try to delve deep! What d0es your husband do specifically that you don’t like? When did it start? What are the things that you do like?
  3. Work on yourself– a lot of the time, dissatisfaction in your relationship can stem from dissatisfaction in yourself. Do you feel disconnected from your truest self? Are you experiencing symptoms of depression? Start incorporating things into your daily life that are just for you and your health. Exercise, time with friends, baths, reading. Pursue your personal hobbies and goals. If you feel confident in yourself, you will be better equipped to work on your relationship.
  4. Communicate honestly– once you have worked through some of your emotions, share them with your husband. Focus on empathy and not blame. Focus on using sentences like “I feel disconnected” instead of “you always make me feel…”
  5. Rekindle your connection–  if you want to see and feel a change- you need to put in the work! Go on dates, make dinners together, have movie nights. Facilitate small gestures like leaving love notes or picking up your husbands favorite snack next time you’re at the store.
  6. Seek professional help– this one can make a huge difference in your marriage. There is absolutely no shame in seeking the advice and mediation of a marriage therapist. A neutral, experienced third party can help navigate sensitive tops and give you the tools to rebuild your relationship.

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The Future

So, right now you feel like you don’t like your husband. Are you doomed? Are you horrible for having these thoughts? The answer to both of these is… of course not! While the future may be rocky, there is hope there also. Make no mistake, things will not just fix themselves. Marriage is a continuous effort, a plant that needs to be continuously watered its whole life. You and your partner need to make the daily decision to choose each other and choose your marriage.

Marriage therapy can make a transformative difference within your relationship. A therapist can help give you the tools to communicate better, make a plan, help you rediscover your connection, and uncover deeper issues when needed.

Final Thoughts on I Don’t Like My Husband Anymore: What Now?

Admitting that you don’t like your husband can be a scary thought, but it can open the door to more growth within your marriage. Through identifying your feelings, working on yourself, open communication, and rekindling your connection, there can be hope and healing within your relationship.

If you are ready to take the next step, we are here to help. Please reach out today!

Ready to take the next steps in your mental health journey?
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happy couple | The Peaceful Mind Counseling Center