Does Sex Therapy Work?

Let’s talk about something a little taboo (but absolutely worth talking about): sex therapy. If you’ve ever wondered, “Does sex therapy actually work, or is it just people talking about their feelings awkwardly for an hour?”, you’re not alone. Many people are curious, skeptical, or unsure of what sex therapy even is, let alone if it’s effective.

Let’s dig into why someone might need sex therapy, what to expect, and why sex therapy might be more helpful (and more normal) than you think. Keep reading to learn more.

Here’s what we’ll cover today:

1. What is sex therapy?
2. Who would benefit from sex therapy?
3. Why does it work?
4. What to expect

What Is Sex Therapy?

You’ve probably heard this term before- that’s why you’re here. But what exactly is sex therapy?

Let’s back up for a minute. Know that sexual desire (and its difficulties) are an extremely common challenge that couples face throughout their relationship. Sexual dynamics change throughout a relationship (think honeymoon phase vs. coming out of it when it fades). Sexual intimacy is complex, special, and at times uncomfortable to talk about.

Sex therapy is a specialized form of talk therapy that focuses on sexual function, intimacy issues, and relationship dynamics. It can help individuals or couples work through problems like:

• Low desire
• Performance anxiety
• Mismatched libidos
• Difficulty achieving orgasm
• Navigating sexual desire after trauma

Who Would Benefit from Sex Therapy?

There are many people who would benefit from sex therapy, some reasons for seeking it out are listed above. Let’s dig a little deeper on some reasons why a couple might need or benefit from sex therapy.

All human beings were created to be sexual beings- but this typically manifests in different ways for men and women. Most men feel connected to their wives through sexual intimacy. On the flip side, many women need that emotional connection in order to want to have sex with their husbands. This biologically creates a bit of an imbalance and can be tricky for many couples to navigate.

Sexual dysfunction or difficulty reaching orgasm is another big reason why people seek out sex therapy. About 70% of women don’t orgasm regularly- did you know that? For many women, the mental aspect of having an orgasm is extremely important. Learning to let go of expectations may help, or even accepting that you can still have a meaningful sexual encounter even if you don’t reach orgasm. If you have trouble reaching orgasm, you may (understandably) be left feeling frustrated, and your partner may be feeling inadequate or incapable of pleasing you. If the man is dealing with some type of erectile dysfunction, it can similarly create tension and feelings of embarrassment or inadequacy within the relationship.

Past sexual trauma can also be a factor in maintaining a healthy sexual relationship. This can include things like past sexual pressures, assaults, sexual addictions, or religious shame around being a sexual being.

It may also be difficult to tell your partner you want something different when it comes to your sexual intimacy with them, whether it be more or less or something new. Do you need more from them outside of the bedroom in order to want to be intimate? Do you need more sexual connection, but you don’t want your partner to feel pressured?

Basically? If sex (or the lack of it) is causing stress, confusion, or hurt- sex therapy might be worth exploring. Whether you’re dealing with specific sexual issues or if you simply fee like your relationship has “lost its spark”, sex therapy can be life changing.

Why Does It work?

Yes, sex therapy works! Here are a few reasons why:

1. Education- many people simply don’t receive proper sex education. Sex therapy can help you learn more about your body, your partners body, and literally how to achieve sexual satisfaction. You can also learn more about how things like fluctuating hormones and stress can impact sexual desire and function.
2. Communication skills- couples may feel uncomfortable talking about the specifics of what they want sexually. They may feel ashamed or embarrassed. Learning how to talk about sex with your partner can take away that shame and embarrassment. You can also learn to communicate to your partner what you need in order to want to have sex, or how to give your partner what they need.
3. Anxiety reduction- anxiety and sexual performance are mortal enemies! A sex therapist can give you tools to help reduce your anxiety surrounding sex, body image, or past negative experiences.

Some reports show that 85-90% of couples who had sex therapy reported happier sexual intimacy with their partners. Sex therapy can increase love and intimacy, provide a greater understanding and closeness, and decrease frustration with your partner.

What to Expect

A typical session won’t involve graphic details or judgment. You might:

• Talk about your history, relationships, values, and goals.

• Learn new communication or intimacy building techniques.

• Receive “homework” to try with your partner.

• Explore your beliefs or experiences that impact your sexual confidence.

Final Thoughts on Does Sex Therapy Work?

Sexual struggles are way more common than we talk about. Therapy offers a safe, supportive space to work through them. Your sexual relationship with your partner is extremely important, and you both deserve to feel like that connection is strong and fulfilling.

If you’re wondering if sex therapy is for you, consider this: If you had an issue with your vision, you’d see an eye doctor. If your intimacy is blurry, why not see a professional for that too?

You deserve a fulfilling, connected, and empowered sex life. If you’re ready to take the next step, please reach out to us today!