Marriage is a journey of change, shared experiences, mutual respect, and steadfast support. It is an amazing union of two people who love each other- but it is also HARD.
If you are reading this, you’re probably wondering how to be a better husband. Thats great! You have started the journey to put more effort into your marriage. Being a better husband is not always about grand romantic gestures or gifts- it’s about continuing to show up and choose your partner and your marriage every day.
Keep reading to learn some strategies on how to be a more thoughtful, present, loving husband.
Here’s what we’ll talk about:
- Open Communication
- Regular Appreciation
- Being an Active Partner
- Quality Time
- Work on Yourself
Ready to take the next steps in your mental health journey?

Open Communication
You’ve hear it before- communication is key! But what does that even mean? It could mean sharing your thoughts, feelings, ideas, and dreams with your spouse. And just as importantly, you need to listen to all of hers. Listen to understand, not just to hear. Try to understand and internalize their perspective and how they are feeling. Ask questions when you don’t understand, and let them know when you do. There is nothing wrong with straight up saying, “Hey, what can I do to make you feel loved? What can I do to make you feel appreciated?”
Within the same realm, communication means really getting to know each other. Do you know what your spouses favorite band is right now? Their biggest fears? What is she reading? How about what local restaurant they’ve been dying to try?
You can set aside 10 minutes every day to talk, connect, and understand. This can help both persons feel heard and understood.
Regular Appreciation
After a few years, it can be easy to slip into a lax, unintentional marriage. This can lead to resentment, boredom, and someone feeling taken for granted.
By regularly expressing appreciation and gratitude for each other, it keeps these things alive and well within your marriage. Make sure your spouse knows what you value about them, that you see and appreciate everything they do, and that you love them.
Something as simple as regularly leaving her a note with something you love about her can immediately brighten her day and make her feel loved. Or maybe you knew she had a hard day, so you went ahead and cleaned the kitchen without being asked. Make the effort.

Ready to take the next steps in your mental health journey?
Being an Active Partner
An active partner is not a passive partner. In order to have harmony within a relationship, both parties need to be pulling their weight. This may include parenting duties, housework, or planning date nights.
If you are being passive within your marriage, are you even in a marriage? Marriages take work and effort. Take the initiative without being asked, do the laundry, make the dinner, make the date night reservation. Actively cultivate your relationship. Your wife will thank you for it.
Quality Time
There are so many wonderful things about spending quality time together, just the two of you. Even when life is busy and chaotic, you have to carve out the time. This doesn’t always have to be something fancy- it can be as simple as watching a movie together with your favorite treats after the kids are in bed.
Doing things together can strengthen your bond, create memories, and even remind you of how things were in the beginning. Remember how fun dating was? Well, you can keep dating your spouse when you are married!

Work on Yourself
If you want to be a better husband, work on yourself and take care of yourself. How is your mental health? What about your physical health? Try your best to bring your best self to your relationship. Do the work that you need to do in order to be their for her fully.
Look inward- are you doing all that you can do? Do you admit your faults and when you are wrong? Nurturing your emotional and physical well being can bring a lot of great things into your relationship. Therapy can be a great way to do that!
Final Thoughts on How to Be a Better Husband
Being a better husband is about the simple, meaningful, every day efforts you can put into your relationship. Marriage is something that needs to be nurtured and grown- don’t fall into the habit of being lax.
By focusing on communication, appreciation, being intentional, and quality time, your marriage can get to a better place. A good marriage consists of two people who choose to show up for each other every day. They admit when they’re wrong, respect each other, and give each other their best selves.
If you need further help on how to be a better husband, or feel like you don’t know how to reach your best self, don’t hesitate to reach out today!
Ready to take the next steps in your mental health journey?





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